so when i got to the gym this morning to run, there was a yoga class starting. i figured, what the hell?, i ran 3 days this week, maybe i'll try this out and see what's up. so i went in and no sooner did the instructor open her mouth then i realized who she was. it's a long story, but i've walked out on one of her classes before due to her sheer suckiness. anyway, i instantly realized how rude that would be to do twice, so i committed to give it a chance. besides, the other class was something completely different any maybe yoga really is her thing.

i told myself to remain open minded when she turned the earthy crunch hippy talk up to eleven. i even managed to keep a straight face when she began spreading glass, battery powered, LED colorchange "crystals" all over the floor. dont be a douchebag, i told myself, this may be really relaxing if you just get over yourself and go with it....so i went with it and i almost saw myself being able to stand it when poof! the power went out. all of the sudden this semi tolerable situation was minus any lights OTHER than the "crystals" and the ambient sounds of oceans waves or whatever hippy bullshit she had been playing was gone leaving me nothing to focus on but the sound of her not-so-soothing voice.

i quickly became Painfully aware that the instructor had a nasty habit or ending EVERY sentence the same...."take this where you want to...." i.e. "now, extend the leg....take this where you want to..."..."breath in, take this where you want to..."....."close your eyes...take this where you want to...."..."take a drink if you need to....take this where you want to...." after a few minutes, i was ready to show her exactly where to "take this". Arg!

So, long story short, I spent the next 45 minutes becoming increasingly aggravated and using all my "focus power" to stop myself from reaching out and throttling the woman. (Pretty much the polar opposite of the response one is supposed to have to yoga) After a full hour I couldn't take it anymore, and crept out. So 2 hours later, I can't get that hour back, and now it's off to work.

Blarg.